Moldova Town
by Weelderig Waardeloos
Summary: Thea and Marcin end up in Moldova Town, home of the Maltese-Moldovans, which is... very strange. Introducing 'Moldova Town'.


It was a sunny day in Malta, and Thea and Marcin were taking a break from recording things and headed into the tourist district.

"This is the place where we all go here in Malta," Thea smiled, "But mostly it's just tourists."

Marcin looked over and saw a group of tourists taking pictures of the city.

He walked up to them, before seeing a golden path off to the side. The floor of the path was covered in golden glitter, and it was so captivating that Marcin followed it without even stopping to think about where he was going, he just assumed that Thea would be following him.

"Yeah this place is great, right Thea?" Marcin asked, before looking around and realising that Thea wasn't there.

"...Thea?"

Marcin looked around, there was no sign of Thea. He turned to go back the way he came but saw three different golden paths in front of him.

"Ah crap. Alright, erm, I think it was this one," and Marcin followed the path in the center, until he came to a strange city.

The golden glitter was still all over the floor, but this place looked different than the path, but there were signs all around with funny shapes and symbols written on them, brightly coloured flowers were sprouting from the ground and a few people were walking around wearing strange rainbow coloured hats and rainbow coloured clothes.

"What in the hell? This place looks like a bad drug trip," Marcin muttered to himself, "Well, enough of this, time to get Thea."

Marcin got his cell phone from his pocket and rang Thea.

"Marcin!" Thea yelled, "There you are! Oh my god, where are you?"

"I don't know," Marcin said, "I think I've gotten lost or something. There's shops all around with signs written in a funny language, everything's brightly coloured, it's damn weird."

"Wait... what? Oh no, oh no oh no," Thea said, "Don't tell me, are some of the people are walking around wearing rainbow coloured sombreros and top hats?"

"Uhh... yeah, there are, why?"

"Oh no!" Thea said, "That means you're in Moldova Town!"

"Moldova Town? What the hell is that?"

"Here in Valetta, we have a mini-town of sorts, for the Maltese-Moldovans to live. It was dubbed 'Moldova Town'. They were sent there because nothing they said ever made any sense and they hated everything to do with Eastern Europe. Our government had to do something but Moldova wouldn't let us deport them, so they were sent there. I'll come for you, wait right where you are, and DO NOT talk to the Maltese-Moldovans."

"Don't talk to them? But why? Surely I could just ask for directions out of here-"

"No Marcin! Don't do that, the Maltese-Moldovans hate all Eastern European countries, especially Poland! And they'll be able to tell you're Polish because they train especially in detecting Slavic accents."

"Thea, pardon my French but that sounds like a load of bullshit."

"No no!" Thea yelled, "It's true! The Maltese-Moldovans are... weird, to say the least... so wait there!"

"Thea, if they're so good at detecting accents then why have none come at me yet?" Marcin said, "You're just making this shit up as you go along!"

"No I'm not! It's true! How many times do I have to tell you! And maybe your accent isn't as Polish as I thought, so that's why. Also they're very slow. It will probably take them a while to realise that you're not one of them."

"Besides, our president-"

"Shut the hell up about that Marcin! It's not time for your rantings about your president now! Now wait right there. And don't talk to them, they hate Eastern Europe and you wouldn't understand them anyway, they speak in nonsense. They all learned English from a random dictionary they found. They just sprout words from it randomly, and the only things they can actually say relate to their hatred of Eastern Europe."  
"Yeah, they hate Eastern Europe, I caught that the first time Thea."

"Alright, alright, just wait there."

And Thea hung up the phone.

"God damn it," Marcin thought, "Oh well, I guess I can just talk to one of the Maltese-Moldovans. They can't be that bad, right?"

And so he walked up to one of the Maltese-Moldovans, who was wearing a rainbow coloured top hat.

"Moon beams!" the person laughed manically, "In spinach kettle soup!"

"Uh... h...hey..." Marcin said, "I... uh... I'm lost and uh..."

"Lost are we?" he laughed again, jumping up and down, "In the way of the path for truly warriors that this?"

"Look... look... are you no good at speaking English? I can get Thea on the phone, she can speak Maltese, do you guys speak Maltese?"

"Brocolli grows on cornflower," the Maltese-Moldovan laughed and ran away.

"What the fuck was that shit?" Marcin yelled, "Are you people trying to be funny with me or something?"

The man stopped running, turned and came back to where Marcin was.

"Wait... you..." he said, "You the Poland. Poland is you."

"Uh... um... no... no no," Marcin said, "Not at all... uh... I don't know where you could have gotten that idea..."

"Outsider..." he hissed, "Outsider... is you..."

"Oh come on, seriously? What the hell is wrong with you people?" Marcin yelled, when suddenly, he heard a voice from behind him.

"Leave him alone you Moldovan bastards!" It was Thea. All the Maltese-Moldovans that were out ran off when they saw her approaching, holding something silvery in her hand.

"Oh hey Thea," Marcin said, "Would you like to explain to me what the hell this place is?"

"This is Moldova Town."

"Y..yeah, I heard you the first time. But what is Moldova Town?"

"Like I said, it's a town where the Maltese-Moldovans live."

"And blah blah blah, they hate Eastern Europe. Despite Moldova actually being in Eastern Europe. Yeah, I get it already."

The Maltese-Moldovans had ran off by now, but a few were stilling looking at the two of them from behind the windows of their houses.

"Ok..." Marcin said, "And why have they all ran off now that you've showed up?"

"Because I have this," Thea said, waving a silver spray can that she was holding in her hand, "It repels them."

"It repels them?" Marcin said, "Thea, they're not Pokemon or mosquitos. Just what the hell is going on around here?"

"I'll explain everything once we get out of this crazy town, follow me," Thea said, and Marcin followed Thea out Moldova Town.

"Ok, Thea, now explain. What the hell was that?"

"Yeaaah, well... ok. That was Moldova Town, I've already told you that it's full of Moldovan immigrants that settled here... hardly anyone outside of Malta knows about it... it would be bad for the tourism, you see..."

"Well... that's considerate of you. Sooo... since when has 'Moldova Town' been here?" Marcin asked.

"Since the late 90's... we'll get around to sorting it out eventually," Thea said, "It's just, you know, there's a lot of other stuff going on. It isn't our biggest priority at the moment. And people aren't just supposed to randomly walk into it, didn't you see those warning signs?"

"Hey!" a voice shouted from behind them, "I see you two are arguing about something!"

It was Anna Bergendahl.

"Anna!" Thea said, "I see you're still here in Malta."

"Yeah well, I'm going back to Sweden the day after tomorrow," Anna smiled, "So what were you guys talking about, 'Moldova Town'? What the hell is that?"

"It...it's nothing..." Thea said, "Nothing that you need to worry about, anyway."

"Come on, what's Moldova Town?" Anna asked, "Come on, I want to see!"

"No Anna," Thea said, "It's getting late and besides-"

"I don't see the problem here," Marcin said, "I mean, I already know about it. And now that you've got your weird 'repellent' or whatever it is, we can go back there and show Anna, right?"

"It doesn't have to be right now," Anna smiled, "It could be like... tomorrow, I guess."

"So Thea," Marcin said, "How about it?"

"You know what, fine," Thea smiled, "We'll do it."

"Great!" Anna said, as she reached into her pockets and pulled out two glowsticks.

"Oh gee," Marcin said, as Anna gave both Thea and Marcin a glowstick, "More of your glowsticks."

"Yeah!" Anna smiled, "Isn't it great! I can't wait to see Moldova Town tomorow!"

And with that, Anna skipped off.

"Marcin, what have you done?" Thea said.

"Aw come on Thea, it can't be that bad. I'm sure if Moldova Town was a real problem then the whole world would know about it," Marcin smiled.

"I guess, and I guess we'll find out for sure when we go again tomorrow," Thea said, looking back at the path that lead to Moldova Town.

The End.


End file.
